Bereavement Article
What to Expect When You are Grieving
By Montgomery Hospice Bereavement Care Team
After a major loss, you may worry about your reactions and wonder if your feelings are normal. Grief can be painful, overwhelming and even frightening. The most important thing to remember is that there is no "one way" to grieve. In whatever way you grieve, your thoughts and feelings are appropriate for you. It can be a relief, however, to learn what others have thought and felt, so that you can understand what you might experience.
You may feel a variety of emotions:
- Sadness or depression that comes and goes unexpectedly
- Anxiety about life without your loved one
- Guilt or anger over things done and said, or things not done and said
- Gratitude that your loved one's suffering is over
- Anger that God or any spiritual entity could allow this to happen
- Denial that the loss actually happened
- Relief that you no longer have to be concerned
You may have unusual sensations or experiences:
- Tightness in the throat
- Heaviness in the chest
- Loss of appetite
- Mood swings
- Sensing your loved one's presence
- Hearing your loved one's voice
- Extreme forgetfulness
- Excessive fatigue
- Insomnia
Or you may find yourself acting in unusual ways:
- Crying at unexpected times
- Overeating to fill the emptiness
- Wandering aimlessly
- Assuming the mannerisms or traits of your loved one
- Exploding in anger
- Protecting others by not talking about your feelings
- Telling and retelling stories about your loved one
Counselors experienced with grief emphasize that all these different thoughts, feelings, experiences and behaviors are common among people who are grieving. The Montgomery Hospice Bereavement Care program supports individuals and families by providing general information about grief and loss, by answering questions and helping you find your own answers, by listening to your stories with all the mixed emotions, and by being a caring and reassuring presence.
© Copyright 2008 E.Tiller
